With the holidays approaching, it can stir up a lot of dramas. Triggers and stressors are signals for us to resolve unhealthy dynamics that have been weighing us down.
When we stop the old patterns from perpetuating, we set ourselves up for a healthier and happier year ahead.
I have two recent cases that illustrate unresolvedness in one area of life leads to challenges in other areas of life. It was remarkable to witness the openings and shifts in clients once the unconscious interferences were brought to light.
A woman told me she wanted to “reignite her flame.” She loves her profession but felt exhausted from handling personnel issues. Our conversation revealed she had a history of feeling responsible for others’ happiness.
As a child of unplanned pregnancy, she spent her childhood trying to earn her mother’s love. Once we cleared the interferences from that, she slept much better and gained clarity on the changes needed for her company and family.
Another woman thought her inability to conceive a child was related to ancestral wounds. When we explored the real reason for her wanting a child, she realized it was about fulfilling a promise with her first husband.
Her first husband was her best friend and he died weeks after they got married. While she is building a new life with her current husband, the ashes of her first husband were still stored in her home with the current husband.
Can you see the disharmony in the situation?
Many of us are so excited about creating new projects and embarking on new adventures that we overlook the importance of completions. Sometimes we use the “new” to mask the lack of fulfillment from the past.
When we are unclear about the real reason for our desires, we can spend years or decades chasing after a goal or dream, only to find out later that its fulfillment does not bring the joy or satisfaction that we anticipate.
Regarding the woman who had thought she wanted a child, I had a distinct impression that her first husband’s spirit was not influencing her to live out their promise. It was up to her to set herself free.
For years my client couldn’t bring herself to arrange an inurnment ceremony. Everyone was waiting for her to be ready. After our session, she was ready to make the arrangement and made a crucial decision that had confounded her.
By placing the ashes in the final resting place, she completes the past and becomes fully available for the current marriage. Her desire will come from love instead of regrets. This shift will affect the couple’s future in many ways.
There are also times when we need to complete a phase of life that has brought us joy and great gifts. We resist and want to keep it going. It is especially tempting to keep the status quo when we are unsure what is next for us.
The tighter we hold onto the comfort of status quo, the cloudier it is to see into what’s next for us. Cleaning up our past and environment is essential for the new to emerge. Otherwise, life feels like three steps forward, two steps back.
A recent example for me is the monthly meditation that I have been offering for almost eight years. I had thought I would be facilitating this meditation forever. One day, it came to me that it is time to let that go.
I was surprised because of the blessings and connections that have grown out of the experiences. No matter how I ask, I get the same answer. I have learned to trust. The faster I let go of resistance, the clearer the next step will be to me.
This change of direction means November and December will be the last time I offer the monthly meditation. For the meditation next Friday, it will be open topic.
If you have participated in previous meditations, you will receive a reminder and the replay afterwards. If you are new to this offer, check it out and register using this link – Honor The Sacred Within.
As we approach the holidays, I wish you a beautiful season with lots to be grateful for. May you have the courage and grace to transform unhealthy dynamics for greater harmony and fulfillment for years to come.
I help clients regain vitality,
transcend limitations, and
own their divine presence.